Panic Attacks (a.k.a. “Family Christmas 2016”)

Do I have my Christmas Tree up yet?… Yes.

Do you have your Christmas Tree up yet?

Do I have any gifts made or bought yet?… No.

Do you?…

Am I panicking yet?… Yes. Yes, I sure as hell am.

Are you panicking yet?

Family Christmas…Twenty-one people are about to descend upon my farm, beginning this Friday. They will stay until Sunday and expect to be fed large quantities of food and alcohol. What will I feed twenty-one people for my family Christmas party on Saturday you ask?  Well…

Behold, the half-finished tree…(and unfinished living room walls)

I’m going as simple as I can get away with this year.  I figure if I get them all tipsy enough they won’t even notice. It’s all about family anyway, right? I will make appetizers for the day of course, easy enough.  For the evening? I’m going to attempt an easy dinner of ham, potatoes gratin, roasted carrots, asparagus, and some sort of salad.  People always bring desserts so that won’t even be an issue. Last year’s Christmas was more geared to the Mexican side of the family, this year will be more traditional.  Thankfully, I have Friday off work and no one will be arriving before 5pm on that day, so I do have some time to get my shit together and make it all fall into place by Saturday morning.  And buy and wrap presents. And clean.  And have a panic attack.

Normally, I have this all planned out in advance.  Honestly I do.  This year, my job and a few other unplanned things consumed my days, kicked my ass and left me with very little time or energy to get things done.

And my house needs major work!  I desperately need time to put up more decorations (and mostly clean), but I’d literally need the help of five bazillion elves to get it done.  You heard me right… FiveBazillion.

With six puppies, three dogs, two cats and the house rooster running around, maybe no one will even notice whether or not I clean… Want to experience the true meaning of chaos?  Come to my house.  ~A 




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