Dear February, I mostly hate you

Me:  “Hello February.  I’m not a fan of yours at all.  In fact, I mostly hate you. You are the Monday of all months to me; the fly in my glass of wine. You suck.  I just want you to hurry and go away.

Why do I hate February so much?  It’s cold. And dark.  And there’s snow and ice.  And maybe also a little because I never got a valentines day card from that boy I had a crush on in second grade. This is what I did last February…

Or, It could be that whole terribly obnoxious Ground Hog Day fiasco that just amplifies my disgust for the month.  Seriously, the terrible deception of leading people to believe that if the “Phil” actually doesn’t see his shadow there will be an early spring.  Puh-leez…. How dumb do they think we are? From what I hear, that stupid rodent can’t even achieve a 40% level of accuracy.

But I’ll play nice now… Though most people associate February with that warm, fuzzy National holiday called “Valentines Day, there are actually other, better holidays in February to celebrate (in my opinion).

First, some fun February facts: Did you know that the birthstone of February is the Amethyst?  Look it up. And did you also know that the ancient Greeks  believed wearing an amethyst protected a person from drunkenness?  I can promise you, in the name of research, I will test this theory to determine its truthfulness.  Feel free to do your own testing as well…

Did you know Facebook was founded in the month of February?  Also, Ash Wednesday falls on Valentine’s Day this year.  I’m personally giving up Valentine’s Day for Lent.

Now on to the “other” Holidays – days that actually matter in February…

  • February 18th is National “Drink Wine Day.”  My personal favorite.
  • February 20th is National ” Cherry Pie Day”  Who doesn’t like a good pie?
  • February 22nd is National “Margarita Day.  Another favorite…
  • February 28th is National “Chili Day.”

An extra bonus, on February 18th and 22nd you can drink as much wine and margaritas as you like. Just be sure to wear an amethyst…

February is also National Chocolate month, National Bird-feeding month, Black History month, National Cherry month, American Heart month, and last but not least, National “Holy God Damn F*ck!ng Heating Bill” month.

Alright I confess.  I made the last one up.  That’s nothing to celebrate.

Are you a lover or hater of February?  ~A 

 

 

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